JUST A LITTLE MORE

So sometime this year I had to run away from everybody and went for ‘vacations’ just to think, clear my head, regain my sanity. That’s what I always said when I was asked what the vacations were for. But really I was just running away from situations I thought I could not handle believing that when I came back they would all be gone, gone, disappeared for good. But life is never like that. Life is not for the cowards. When you run you will surely come back and if you eventually don’t come back, the world is the same everywhere else. The situations appear again wherever you run to, this time around clothed in royalty.

So for me, I came back because I had a lot of commitment here- actually, I came back because of school. And guess what? Every single situation I left behind was waiting for me right at the entrance of the state. LOL…I would have never imagined that they had missed me so greatly. Damn, it was not easy but I knew I had nowhere to run to anymore- mainly because of cash, cause trust me guys, if I was bucked up I would have fled the country to start my life all over again. I did this twice and I always came back to face life in the face again.

An opportunity arose to run a third time and I am like ‘so young lady, you still have not learned your lesson. Keep running, keep being a weakling, everyone sees you as a strong woman but you don’t believe in what they seem to see not to mention believing in yourself. After running off, you return back to the very same spot and start thinking of ways to solve them. Life would keep throwing shit at you and beating and hitting you from all sides if you keep running. Stay back, look life in the eyes and make her know who really is in control. Don’t let the wind of life toss you to every corner, stand your ground, have an anchor, and show life how shit really is run.’

I never knew I could have such an inner savage to talk sense into me. 

So I told myself, ‘Sharon, you are going nowhere because you are going to face all these and after that when you come out strong cause I know you surely will, you can have your vacation cause you deserve it.’ Guess what? I’m still facing those situations. I’m sure you thought I would write that I have totally overcome the whole stuff. Nope, not at all darlings but trust me I know it won’t be long anymore. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and boy-oh-boy, I smell VICTORY.

Listen, when you finally decide to face life, don’t expect it to come at you any lesser than before, expect it to come around as a rushing flood. It’s going to throw various distractions at you just to deviate you and once you take your eyes off the prize you might just lose a great lot and find it difficult to come around. 

Eventually, you have to start afresh and I’m sure I can get a witness that it could be so freaking annoying, discouraging, and exhausting. You would feel like just giving up but please don’t. Never settle for opting-out because once you do you will eventually have to start all over with greater obstacles. Once you feel like opting-out be sure that you are making heads way and at that point, life is scared to see the precious gold that would be coming out of that fiery fire really pretty soon.